What in the Jurassic Park Hell is This?

Husband was in Kansas recently, stopped because of hellacious winds. While minding his own business and trying to do some simple truck repairs, he discovered this abomination.

Look, I like bugs. A vast amount of my little-girl-hood was spent with caterpillars of various types crawling all over my face with zero regrets whatsoever. I used to regularly put bees from the garden in my hands and proudly interrupt my mom & dad with “LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” Say what you like about my learning abilities, but being stung a few times did not curb this behavior. 🤷‍♀️

Mmm, this one is a no for me though.

((No.))

Since I was safely ensconced indoors two full states away, I did some quick googling and felt free to make fun of it without the fear of being ended. This is a robber fly, also known as an (less feel-good sounding, but probably more accurate) assassin fly. It hides and waits to attack unsuspecting, probably less ugly bugs in mid flight.

Also, whose cute little suction cup gecko feet did he steal??

Be careful out there, Kansasans!

And also nearly EVERYONE else since assassin flies live absolutely everywhere except Antarctica.

🤦‍♀️